FMLA

Short post today. As I’ve said a few times now, I just want to get into the habit of writing a little bit every day; everyone has made a blog with like four entries and then they abandon (I’ve certainly done that a few times) but I figure that if I write frequently enough, it will become a bit easier to avoid giving up on it.

“Giving up” is actually something I’m becoming intimately familiar with in the last few years. I’ve started countless projects that I leave, quit or fired from a bunch of jobs, and have given up and restarted on medication more times than I care to admit.

That actually brings me to the point of this article. Effective today, I’m taking a Family and Medical Leave Act leave of absence from my job, until my most recent regimen of medications kicks in. I have no idea how long that will take, but hopefully within a few weeks.

This was a long time coming. I’ve been underperforming at work, my manager was getting pissed, and if I didn’t do something then I would certainly be fired. I couldn’t think of anything to do other than take an unpaid leave in order to figure my shit out. Hopefully my focus and depression issues get be controlled, and I’m productive at work in the near future. If not I guess I’ll hit the job market…again. God I am sick of LinkedIn.

So that’s what I’m doing. I plan on trying to exercise at least a little bit every day while I’m not working, since I’ve read that that can be helpful for depression, and if nothing else it’s probably good for my heart. After that, I don’t really have any plans. I don’t think they are allowed to fire me for taking the leave but if they do then they do. I wouldn’t completely blame them.

I am so tired of this. I don’t really “hate” myself, but I am certainly frustrated by myself a lot of the time. It just seems like this shit comes so much easier for everyone else. Maybe that’s all part of the act that everyone puts on, and everyone struggles with this stuff. Man, that would be depressing.

Anyway, since the “personal” section of this blog is more or less a journal, I figured I should post about it. No one reads my blog anyway, so in a way it’s just as private as a normal journal.